Letters of Faith
by Sarathiel
Summary: Fictional musings on the punctuations of various religions.


**Letters of Faith**   
Sarathiel 

A/N: I take no responsibility for Ruby.   


Ruby was in another one of her odd moods. "Capitals," she said, gesticulating wildly. "Capitals." 

"Capitals?" I inquired, politely. No immediate response was forthcoming. "What _about_ capitals?" 

She narrowed her eyes. "They're evangelical." 

The silence drifted in slow motion for a while. I thought. 

"Ruby, are you talking about letters?" 

"Yes!" 

I thought some more. "I don't think letters have religions at all, let along evangelical ones. Except 'A' always looked kind of Taoist to me . . ." 

For a moment we both fell silent, pondering the Taoism of A, and Ruby nodded. "'O' is very eternal. It's a circle. What religion is that, again?" 

"Hindu?" I guessed at random. "It could symbolize reincarnation, anyway." 

"'I' looks like the tree of life . . . or maybe 'Y' . . ." Lost in her own little dream world, Ruby nearly walked into a nearby oak. She noticed it just in time and did a frantic little dance to avoid collision. "Anyway, that's not my point. My point is that evangelicals always use capitals." 

"Ah." I smiled and nodded, with an internal sigh. Last week she tried to prove that free will doesn't exist with an analogy involving cookies. I don't understand Ruby sometimes. 

"Maybe not all, but lots. They use CAPITALS like THIS to make a POINT!" Ruby whirled to face me and stabbed my collarbone with her index finger. "GOD loves you!" 

"Ow," I said, attempting fruitlessly to massage the awkwardly-placed bruise. 

She stared into the shrubbery horizon. "I don't know why. Why do you think?" 

". . ." I said. Ruby failed to notice. 

"Well, wasn't God originally YHWH?" she said cheerfully. "Maybe that's why." 

I mumbled an affirmative. 

"What about atheists?" she mused. "I think atheists shouldn't use capitals." 

"Why . . . ?" 

She shrugged. "Capitals are symbolic of gods. They're above the other letters, and they start the sentences—they're creators." 

I stopped walked and stared at her. "Ruby, are you feeling all right?" 

"I've never seen an atheist capitalize words often . . . maybe it's not evangelism exactly, but simple religious . . . religious-ness," she continued. "yes. we atheists shouldn't use capitals anymore. well, not shouldn't. anyone can if they want to. but i won't." 

"Ruby!" I rolled my eyes in exasperation. 

"yes?" she inquired. "oh, and punctuation. hm. fundamentalists should use lots and lots of punctuation and capitals. they like rules." 

". . ." 

"LI-KE, THIS!!!" she shrieked suddenly. "LOTS, and. LOTS! right??!..:" 

"Ruby, you're scaring me." 

"neo-pagan religions tend to be less heavy on the regulations, from what I have seen," Ruby said blithely, "so no punctuation for them. or perhaps that would be atheist anarchists . . . yes. after all, neo-paganist religions do have rules. atheist anarchists: no capitals or punctuation." 

"That would be . . . coherent." 

yes wouldnt it just be said Ruby. like this kind of see its a bit weird but interesting 

I turned around and began walking away. It never does to encourage her when she's in one of these moods. Behind me, Ruby continued to chatter happily to herself. 

"Satanists could be like tHIS BECAUSE THE SYMBOL IS LIKE THE WICCAN ONE INVERTED," she burbled. "jUST CAPITALIZE EVERYTHING REVERSED." 

I began to hum. 

"Polytheists Could Talk Like This, Because They Have Many Gods." 

"And agnostics . . . would use lots of question marks???" 

Pantheists wouldn't use quotations, I think, she added. They're dividing and restrictive. Or am I thinking of something else? Hm. 

"RUBY!" I screeched, whirling around to glare at her. "KNOCK IT OFF!!!!" 

"Tsk, tsk," she said. "Evangelical _and_ fundamentalist." 

I stared at the sky for ten seconds, counting under my breath, and said, after a moment, "What if you speak Chinese?" 

She looked at me. "Hm?" 

"What if you speak Chinese? There aren't any capitals, just different characters, right?" 

Ruby gave me a blank stare. "So?" 

"How would a fundamentalist Buddhist in China write?" 

"Honestly," said Ruby, "you ask the weirdest questions." 


End file.
